Yep, so I’m a big ole gamer. I started off with my mom buying one of the first Mac’s on the market and played goofy little games on it. Well really, there was Atari first and then Zork and maybe a few others I don’t remember. Eventually I got into MUD’s which are text based games on the web where a bunch of people join in the game. Everyone has their own character; we pick races, professions, magic or non, weapons, skills and so forth. Most of the first ones were based off of D&D which in turn was based off of the Hobbit/Lord of the Rings and other books in the genre. One of the biggest things in these games is to not be OOC, or Out Of Character. In other words if I’m playing I don’t suddenly say “OMG did you see last night’s SNL skit?” or something to that affect. Nope in these games we want to RP or Role-play our characters to fit what others see of them on screen so that they match up to the ideal troll, ogre, elf, magician, thief, warrior, etc.
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REPOSTED FROM THE TRANS-SCEND BLOG 2015 I was asked recently what pronoun I preferred in reference to a club leather title I won back in 2005 before I transitioned. In the leather community some refer to previous titleholders as their "mom, grandma, great grandma, etc." and I was asked if the new titleholder could call me "great (however many times) grandma." People standing behind her automatically said "no" and looked shocked when I said "sure". I recognize the oddness of this, when I first transitioned I went on vacation with a really good friend of mine who wasn't yet used to the transition and kept referring to me as "she." I had a panic attack every time she did which led to me eventually really having it out with her about watching what she was saying. I had a ton of fear around other people’s reactions, I also had some fear of my friends not accepting me which I hadn't quite gotten over (despite the fact that other than getting used to a change in vocabulary they were quite fine with). I also was in a new relationship with a "straight" girl who had barely even heard the word "transgender" before we got together. REPOSTED FROM THE TRANS-SCEND BLOG 2015 I don't know if this is my official first memory or if it is just so strong and had such an impact on the rest of my life that it was elevated to that status. I remember it like it was yesterday and even still remember the elation of the epiphany, the sadness that overwhelmed me right before it was extremely intense and has carried with me. those feelings that come with the memory are the ones that now I know need to dissolve before I can let go of the effect of this memory because it isn't the memory that moves us from the NOW to the past but being stuck in the emotions of the memory that do so.This is how we know we are no longer in the now, it's when the feelings of the past coming rushing back with the memory. In other words if I can reach a point where I remember this in order to retell it to use it to help others with their journey but the emotions or emotional attachments I have to that memory are no longer there then I am using it NOW. |
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