REPOSTED FROM THE TRANS-SCEND BLOG 2014
I have had this feeling for almost as long as I can remember, although I didn't start using the word "Home" until much later on. Interestingly enough, I believe that my soul contract with my grandmother involved her teaching me what unconditional love is. I didn't get this feeling of love from anyone else in my family or subsequently anyone I have known since (though I have felt it from pets and experience after her). It was this love that kept me alive for most of my childhood and after but was also some of the source of my suicidal tendencies after she was gone.
Home, as I am describing, is not a "place" exactly. I'm not speaking of your house or apartment or even a childhood residence. It is a feeling that is essentially that of unconditional love. A soul remembrance of itself as love, as the creator, as one with all. While I was young I didn't understand this, I just knew when things were overwhelming or unmanageable or extremely emotional for me I would wish to "go home" without really knowing what I was asking for. I even attempted suicide a few times thinking it would get me "there" but I always "chickened out."
In hindsight I don't know why I never actually succeed in committing suicide. I have heard many things ranging from "it being a sin" to "you will have to relive this lifetime over" and having to relive an already traumatic, or so I thought, life was not high on my to-do list. Sin was never in my vocabulary really. I grew up being raised by an atheist with some influence (my mother told my grandmother she wouldn't be allowed to see me if she was open about her religion) from a Christian Scientist grandparent. My idea of God was extremely warped from early on, what I knew of "him" then and got even weirder after my grandmothers death.
that feeling of unconditional love I learned from her is what I then longed for after she was gone. She not only instilled the one thing that was, for me, necessary for me to search for "awakening" and the thing that would make me continue the search after falling back to "sleep" several times over. the term "home" though never made it into my vocabulary until my mid twenties when I found works by Silvia Browne. She was one of the first psychics that I ever got in to after a few years of researching "religions" that I felt had no "dogma" (I started with Native American believes). God had essentially killed my grandmother, or so I believed, or at least the belief in god had according to my mother so I st eared clear of anything in the way of a religion that used the word/idea of "god" due to this belief and my childhood.
I later discovered after my awakening the correlation to the feeling of unconditional love, coupled with the knowing that we are all one is essentially the feeling of "home". Home is really a reference to our true self, our soul, what we truly are. It is really unlike a feeling you can describe, though some of it can be mimicked like the feeling of unconditional love. For the other ingredients you really have to feel it to know it completely. I have had glimpses of it on and off as I have awakened. the closer I have moved to the 5th dimensional (5d) consciousness the more often I have experienced the feeling.
the experiences themselves have lasted anywhere from an hour to a few days and it is an entirely different feeling than I have ever had. though that isn't quite true, it is more a conglomeration of feelings that have happened but never seem to happen at once, or at least not like this. It is the entirety of every "good" feeling I have felt plus more, much much more, without be overwhelming. It is essentially bliss or "heaven" in the flesh with the add benefit of being "neutral" at the same time. Meaning that you are essentially on cloud 9 nothing there is nothing that can knock you down, not even "bad" news. You are embodying your higher self, your soul and you are home.