Is it yours? Do you choose to give your power away to what might be, what could be, what was done to someone else but not you, what happened a long time ago and might happen again. Do you choose to walk through this world wondering when the other shoe will drop, when you will be hurt, when you will not be able to afford something, when you will not be able to do something you’ve always done before. Do you choose to suffer to fear before anything has even occurred yet?
Coming to love ourselves is not about occasionally saying “yeah I love myself,” it’s not about doing the “right” thing, it’s not about eating the “right” thing, it’s not about feeling/saying/thinking the “right” thing. Loving ourselves completely is about BEcoming love, not about loving… when you BEcome LOVE, when you embody LOVE, you no longer seek it from outside yourself. You no longer find flaws in yourself or anyone else.
Today is National Coming Out Day. This is typically a day where someone that is gay/lesbian/bisexual/transgender and has been hiding it from others tells someone, or makes an announcement like on Facebook. Today a lot of us know someone who fits that description and we either celebrate it, don’t care, don’t want to think about it, or ignore it. I’d like to put a little bit of a spin on it though…
I’d like to come out today and say I’ve had an enlightenment experience. One of those experiences that you read about in books, or hear from some guru or spiritual teacher. I’ve actually had an entire experience where I not only felt but knew that every particle of my being was in every thing else. Where I knew what the trees felt and heard them speak, where I understood how I and the rest of us came to be and how none of us really understood that our only “job” to do here was to recapture that feeling.
As you can see in this picture I always wanted to be the knight in shining armor. Or the sheriff, Han Solo or any other dashing hero. I protected people for as long as I could remember. At a young age I was opening doors for women, holding my mom when she cried late at night, sticking up for people at school and so forth and so on. I took this into my adult years and though I didn’t always feel like I lived up to it perpetually attempted to be the “white knight.”
We often talk about the “Divine Masculine” being that man that steps up to protect women, to be kind and loving and never let them hurt or be hurt. It’s the same concept as the “Knight in shining armor” or “the white knight” concept and the two seem to have become interwoven as we open up to the idea of different energies within us all. I lived up those concepts in many of my relationships and when I didn’t I chastised myself for it. Many a picture circulates on Facebook these days with men with long hair and good builds being dubbed as “The Divine Masculine” for all others to model. I wanted to be that, be that type of man until one day I figured out that the type of man that is… is not doing women or anyone else a favor.
I was reminded today how I used to (and occasionally still do) seek approval from the outside world. This can be in reference to anything; weight, job, looks, education level and so on. Today though I’m going to use my story as a transgender male as a reference for this. While everything and more of what I listed I and many others have sought approval for it wasn’t until I chose to transition to male that it came at me full blown.