Take the red pill, don’t listen to your ego, free yourself from monkey-mind and any other way there is to put it. Basically what I’m talking about is how to stop believing everything your head tells you. At first you are so wrapped up in it that you have no idea it is really even happening let alone that it doesn’t have to. We are used to our heads telling us things and of course, because it is our head we believe it. Here is the funny part, 99% of what you hear in your head is hogwash. Yep, your own head lies to you.
Why it lies is even funnier, it is trying to protect you. That’s right phrases like “your ugly”, “your fat”, “you don’t know how to do anything right”, “nobody loves you” and any other BS your head tells you is for your own protection. Really sad when you look at it. You see instead of being there to say “Hey, big paw print, RUN!” our heads now give us those other sayings because they are assuming that every path leads to the same horrible place. Not true! In fact you WILL end up in that place again and again if you listen to your head! Why is that, well we confuse it with Karma but what it really is, is not listening to higher-self when it nudges us to figure out why we are in that horrible place and how to get out of it. Again, it is not by following our own thoughts.
Here is the tricky part, that other 1% of our thoughts IS our higher-self and the one you want to listen to. In the beginning though that is really hard to do so to start off we just learn to tell what isn’t it and how to get that voice to be a little quieter. If we continue with the process that voice that we don’t want to listen to, the one we will call ego from now on, becomes quieter and quieter so we can start to hear our higher-self. Okay, so how do we do that?
My good friend and the one that first taught me how to do this, Lisa Transcendence Brown, calls what we do twisting your mind. It could be called messing with your mind, twisting, playing with your mind but whatever you call it, it is basically questioning yourself until you wind your ego up so badly it can’t speak anymore. Silence, beautiful silence! At least for a bit. The awesome thing about it is this is also the way you learn that all those things in your head, all the stories you grew up with that you thought were yours or you thought were right you find aren’t really yours and aren’t right. In fact there isn’t a right and wrong and you learn that too. Crazy, huh? Naw, awesome!!!
Let’s use the example of the bathroom stalls, so the thought in my head was “someone is going to know I’m not a guy because of the way I pee.” Okay, valid thought when you are first transitioning from one gender to another. So, let us play with the thought a bit…
“Yep, everyone is standing around listening to YOU PEE.”
-well it seems like they are
“They are all just waiting for a Trans guy to show up so they can beat him up.”
-people tell me to watch out for this sort of thing
“I stand around and listen and check out how everyone else is doing it don’t they.”
-not unless I’m freaked out I could care less how others pee
“Wait that one sat down in the stall next to me. He must know.”
-he’s going to the bathroom
“He could listen, he could get up, don’t do it.”
-well I have to so I am
“That’s it, you blew it he knows now.”
-and he’s still going to the bathroom
“No, that is his cover, don’t walk out there.”
“They are all looking at you!”
-actually they are all trying not to look at me
“They are going to jump you when you wash your hands.”
-washing hands still no jumping
“They are waiting outside”
-I’m outside, nobody here
“They will get you next time”
“Because you peed sitting down!”
-lots of guys do that, I know some
Okay, this can go on forever or until you get to the underlying issue in your head. For me it became the fact that male is only defined by having a penis in my head and in society. I did some of this same thing for that and other work that I will go into later on. Sometimes you reach a very emotional point in all of this, that is the core of wear the fear is. If you really look at any emotion you can have if it isn’t absolute pure unconditional love it is fear. That is all that is in there. We disguise it but it all comes down to love and fear.
The constant negativity your head talks is just fear, it is all the fears we have about life. Being your higher-self aspect is about unlearning that fear and sometimes the only way you can do that is just by pushing past it. After all as Nelsen Mandela said “…courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it…” We are not trying to triumph over our ego as some would think but just the fear that has created it, once we no longer have that fear we can recognize the ego for what it is and no longer listen to it. This is how we become our higher-selves and Masters of our journey once again.