Today I found myself saying something that we all say “Wow, I’m in love with…” It’s not a new thing, I’ve said it before, heard it before, watched movies where people say it and so on. What was new is right after I said it I stopped and actually looked at that thought. I had to sit back and say to myself “really?” Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t questioning that I had the feeling I was questing the wording and how it described the feeling.
What does “in love” really mean, what did I mean when I said it and why, as humans do we equate an awesome feeling with the words “in love.” Being IN anything means I can be OUT of it right? We say I’m IN love, I fell OUT of love, I do NOT love them any more, I (DO) love you and what do all of those things really say about the feeling I have? Frankly, broken down like that it says I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop. I’m waiting for the opposite thing to happen, I’m waiting for the other side of those duality words.
Look at this way if I KNOW something is RIGHT then I also KNOW something is WRONG. If I see in black/white, right/wrong, good/bad then I am constantly seeing the duality of everything. Now being unconconscious humans means we don’t actually notice any of this we just live that duality. When we start waking up we begin to actually see the correlations between things and we start to understand how this idea of duality limits us. Higher Selves/Souls/Creator/God does not lack, all of those words combine into one thing, what/who you truly are.
So why did I just say “I’m in love” with someone? Am I still in fear of the shoe dropping on this? If I am then I will go into and through this relationship expecting and therefore focusing (dreading, fearing) that the end is coming. All that energy poured into the ending of the relationship is going to bring it to me. Why? Because I’m focused on it and putting my energy into it and what we put our energy into is what we draw. Energy doesn’t listen to the words, it just goes where you put it, it flows to that thing and calls it to you.
So where do I lack? Where am I in fear? Why did I say those words? How can I change them? It’s a basic rewiring of your brain. “I’m in love with” is a constant reference in our society. Do we look at the opposite of that, do we understand how that can flip on us, do we even know we have these ideas/thoughts/fears? For most of us the answer is either NO or NOW I DO. I don’t want to look at one side of a coin anymore, I don’t want to draw to me the opposite of what I desire. Did you see that word? Did you hear that word, what word do we usually use? WANT.
What does WANT say to you? To me I hear oh I want that…. Oh, I don’t have that, I need that, I lack that, I need THAT to fill me, complete me, make me feel better about myself. If I WANT something I’m in lack, if I NEED something it’s the same thing. It’s a lot like duality, the feeling of it tells the energy “Oh, keep that away from me.” Why? Because as humans we try to fill the void that only releasing our programs will do. If I’m saying I need that person in my life, it means I need you to love me because I can’t. I need that car because I feel bad about myself and this will make me happy. I want/need that money because I can’t live without it. All you are telling the energy is that you can’t fulfill yourself and so while you might get it for a while, eventually it will be taken away so you can awaken to the idea that you are the only one that can (I’m stealing a word from a friend of mine; Lisa Transcendence Brown) WHOLE yourself. As a human we have missing pieces, all the missing pieces were brought about from lifetimes of realities where we believed the stories we were told. As we awaken we begin to look at those stories in order to transcend them.
All transcendence really means is that we no longer come from our human aspect, we come from our Higher Self. How do we do that, by letting go of the fear/lack/shame/guilt/unworthiness and allowing yourself to love our own being, our own body, our own journey for what it is/was. To truly connect in to being whole, not to being “enough” but to being our awesome/creative/beautiful/loving/dynamic/multi dimensional selves once again. This is our journey to ourselves, not to something to fill ourselves.
So now how do I feel about that other person? I feel CONNECTED, much like I do to many others. Is there a spark within in that connection, yes, do I NEED that spark, no. The only connection and spark I truly “need” is the one I don’t actually need but that I truly DESIRE. The difference being, it’s an ingrained drive within me to connect to my higher self. My higher Self leads me to my connections so that I may choose to learn to fill the hole myself or use another to do so. If I don’t find it myself then I will continue to suffer to my own choices, lose a relationship, lose a house, lose a car, lose my ability to create, lose my connection to myself, hate myself, beat myself up and many more of the things I have done (and many others) along the way.
I no longer choose to be unconscious, I move more and more down the path of being present in every moment, watching every thought I have, every action I do and I’m starting to recognize the same in others. Now I know, from my heart/being/soul, that my connection to someone else is all about filling the whole within me. As I move into the relationship I can choose to remain conscious, pay attention to when I’m starting to have human thoughts and feelings, observe it and not believe the stories, be open and honestly with the other person or I can choose to have the same relationship I’ve always had, closed down, unconscious, purely out of need/lack and I will have more lessons along the way only to show me one thing: Love Yourself, you are the focus of any relationship, it is all about showing you where you don’t love yourself and where you do. Open up, listen, feel, leave the old stories behind.
Connect with yourself fully and you can then learn to connect with others from a conscious place, where you no longer comprise yourself. In that space is where you truly love yourself and others, in that place is awesomeness, beauty and appreciation. That place comes from your Higher Heart, the center of your chest, the heart chakra. Connect with yourself there first (or along the way if you are able to do it consciously) and then instead of “Wow, I’m in love with,” it becomes “Wow, I’m truly connected.” Now ask yourself WHO you are connecting with...