REPOSTED FROM THE TRANS-SCEND BLOG 2016
Okay people what is up this week. Everywhere I look I see people changing themselves to fit a reality they don’t want or playing into fears so they can keep a tight hold on things. If you haven’t noticed by adulthood that things change then you really haven’t been paying attention to your LIFE. Yeah, things change but they don’t have to change for the worse. Is that what is going on, do we all fear the worst possible thing that could happen? When, exactly, has the worst thing every happened to you? I know there were a few times where I was essentially homeless but you know what, I wasn’t listening. I wasn’t listening to the world around me, I was fighting tooth and nail to dig my heals in and not listening because I was too scared to go with the flow.
Where the heck was that flow going to take me, what happened if I changed my mind **GASP** What would happen if I let go of a piece of some superficial thing that I defined myself by… oh my gosh!! Wait, but is it superficial? Wait we are talking things like my job, my animals health care, my health care, my way of life, the things that define me, the person that I am, OMG we are talking about what makes me ME, aren’t we?
Well, it depends, look at those things very closely. Are you your job, do walk, talk, breath, sleep and eat your work… well some of us do but is it who you really are? If you lose that job and say can’t get another one like it, doesn’t that mean you aren’t actually you anymore? Do you start to disappear? Are you the incredibly shrinking woman/man? Did you just dissolve into nothingness when you can’t pursue your life’s career? I know some of us very well believe this. I have watched people go through some major suffering because of things like this. I myself lost a job after 10 years and had no idea what to do next.
Sometimes the first thing to do is sit down and go inside, something we usually hate doing. How many of us actually take the time to sit with ourselves on a daily basis and demand quiet? Well okay, my brain is never exactly quiet but I have managed to weed out the insane talk from the crazy talk… wait, what? Yeah, the insane talk is what I call my human, it’s that talk that says I’m nothing more than an accountant or whatever career you call yourself by. I can’t possibly be anything without that job, people know me as Lee the Accountant, I am the accountant, I can’t be anything else, I went to school for this, I worked my entire life as this, I never wanted to be anything other than this and now what.
Well what is your crazy talk… what does your crazy talk say, maybe something like… I want to write, I want to paint, I want to travel, I want to…. But the craziest part about the crazy talk is that it is buried really far down under all the insane talk and… wait till you hear this… it only wants to do those things because it has something to share with others… for … FREE. Yeah, nothing in exchange, it just wants to give give give and that is it… what kind of accountant are you!!!
Yeah, there are two kinds of talk going on in your head. One is the insane human that is so concerned with keep you safe that it lies to you in order to do so, seriously LIES. It has basically been programmed to repeat things that you took in at some point in your life and repeat them so intensely to you that you now believe them. If someone were to tell you that what made you you was the blue shirt you are wearing would you believe them… gee Lee you just aren’t you without that shirt, I can’t relate to you, you just shouldn’t be without that shirt… yeah, insane and a little creepy. Well the same goes for your job, your education, your house, your car, your wife, your kids, your favorite sports team, your occupation, your back account balance and so on and so forth. None of those things make you, you. In fact, we are usually so busy trying to hold on to those things that we miss what the real US is saying.
The real you is trapped somewhere under all those attachments we have made. Attachment to our jobs, our homes, our family, our friends, our whatever you can name. It isn’t until we begin to strip away all of those attachments that we find our true selves. Our true selves know no limits, no boundaries, they don’t want us to put ourselves in little boxes and call it a day, they want to break out, be free and shout atop a mountain! Okay, you don’t really have to shout, unless you want to!!
Losing attachments doesn’t mean you wake up one morning roll over, look at your wife and say “I’m outta here.” It means you stop using the attachment to define yourself, you stop saying “I’m nothing if I don’t have my…” You don’t think you do that? What if someone stole your car, burnt down your house, your wife left you, your kids flunked out of school, your dog ran away, your sports team lost, or you lost your job? What are you then… if you are like most people you are suffering, in despair, in a fog not knowing which direction is which, you are defined by your attachments.
And what do we do when we are defined by our attachments, we fear losing them. The biggest thing we fear is death itself, because we are defined by our bodies. Funny thing that, our bodies aren’t really us… you aren’t fat, skinny, pretty, ugly, muscular, flabby, a blue eyed blonde, nope not anything you can see in the mirror… wait, what? Yeah, weird huh, we actually are not our bodies, we use our bodies yep, we should be kind to our bodies and most of us aren’t, in fact our bodies and the human inside it should be the first thing you learn to love on this journey but, unfortunately, it is usually the last or it just never happens.
So what happens with this fear of losing this attached thing, well we act on it. We get angry if we think people are going to take it or could take it, we get over protective, we get jealous, we get any number of things that basically do not result in a happy go lucky kinda guy/girl. In fact we get so weirded out about the idea of losing this thing that we think about it constantly. This is my car, that dude almost hit my car, you son of a … I got get this drug, that drug, this test, that test, omg was that my heart, am I sick, oh geez. Or, why can’t I get that job, they aren’t better than me, why cause I’m a this or that and that is why I don’t get the job, acckkkk!
Okay, I have gone through all of this stuff and generally I was so scared of everything (not that it even remotely presents itself as fear mind you) that I would lay in bed fantasizing about how I would beat the crap out of anyone that touched my… yeah, have you seen me I’m not that big! I would have, or at least tried though because my fear had turned to major anger. Fear turns into most, what we tend to term, negative emotions. Behind every negative emotion if you look at yourself and it for a while you can find the thing you are most scared of in regards to the attachment you are looking at.
It is usually the fear of losing the attachment that has us go through whatever emotion it is we are going through. It is also that fear that keeps us fixated on the attachment and in most cases is the reason we create the reality in which we lose that thing. So, say for example, my dog gets this weird growth on his back and I am just overly fixated on and I keep not wanting him to die and the emotions I’m having are ones of fear and loss. The universe listens better than we think it does, it just doesn’t get syntax. It listens to the emotions you are having and the images you are projecting. If all I am focused on is my dog dying… even if I keep saying “don’t, not, please no” or whatever… all the universe gets is the picture of my dogs death. At the same time my soul says “hmm I went down there to learn that things were not me and losing this thing seems to be a way to show me that isn’t true.” Bam, dead dog. Okay that is a horrible way to put it but it is exactly what has happened to me. (This is over simplified but it is basically how it works, science has proven it, so not only careful what you wish for but what you don’t want!)
Another scenario, I am not an accountant, however I did have a really good job for 10 years where I made quite a bit of money and I bought a lot of crap to show I had quite a bit of money and I kept it all for me me me, well once in a while I gave it away but just to show I was a good person and yeah, boom job gone. Why? Well first of all I was focused on what the job did for me, good reputation, bought my own house and car, could do what we consider “middle class stuff” and yeah. I also, hated that job. I considered leaving it all the time I just didn’t want to look for another, or interview, or learn another job, or… yeah I just didn’t want to even though I wanted to. Oh, and I had always dreamed of writing and sharing with people. Hmm, wonder how this blog thing started.
So… boom no job. Now, for most people that would have been devastating and I did have my moments, believe me. I was also right at the beginning of my awakening so I understood things like attachments and could see why I had just lost my job, I could also see several other things that I was about to lose and decided to just let them go instead of trying to hold onto more things that just weren’t me. I did end up going out and getting another job, that one I left voluntarily because I still wasn’t in a place where I was happy and I want to be happy. In fact I haven’t had what we consider a “real” job in about 3 years. I have been following my path and have been abundant on that path, not like I was before when I thought buying every was abundance, it’s not, it’s wasteful. I have been following my path ever since, sometimes I jump (say “what fear” and just go for it) and sometimes my human lifts its head and says “NOOOOO” and then I put on the breaks long enough to figure out what’s up with the little guy until I can break his grasp on the handle and then we go for a ride again. It has been the best 3 years of my life and I plan on continuing with the ride. So, are you going to tell the roller coaster operator to stop the ride or are you going to start looking at those attachments and your beliefs and ask yourself “Why do I believe that?”
Start looking at what you have always wanted in your life. What were your hopes and dreams as a kid? What have you been doing in your job that you really love but never knew you wanted or could do. Is that old accountant really happy when he is leading a workshop, teaching kids about accountant stuff (told you I wasn’t one) or only truly happy when he is in his kids room painting with them. Stop believing that you can’t live your dreams, this is the time to live them, this is the time to wake up to who you really are and what you want to do with that realization. You weren’t meant to suffer. You weren’t meant to be unhappy. You were meant to come into these funny little human suits and experience a funny little human life and then wake up. Wake up to the fact that you aren’t these insane little humans but something more. You are the universe and it is you. You are creative because you are the creator and it is you. You are worthy of more than what the human says you are. You must Awaken to that. How? Just jump!