Relationships and why they truly matter

REPOSTED FROM THE TRANS-SCEND BLOG 2016


This might come as a huge shock to most, but technically YOU are the person of your dreams. Yep, it’s just you and nobody else. You might look at your partner and think nope, they are the ONE. Or you may be out looking for your SOULMATE. Or you are sitting around feeling sulky about not having anyone or have the person you currently have because they don’t CARE ABOUT MY NEEDS. So, guess what you have or don’t have at the moment the person that can show you how to have the person of your dreams. Why, because you sent so and so to yourself for just that reason!!

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First off we live in world designed to keep you as far from yourself and your own truth as it can. The western civilization is not build on democracy or justice or law. It is built on the dollar, it is built on the lies we chose to sell ourselves in order to have the biggest scavenger hunt in the known universe. We came here to find ourselves. I’m not talking the slang we say when we run away from our partners of 20 years or spend the vast majority of our time with our noses in self-help books and magazine articles trying to better ourselves for Mr./Ms. Right (Now). I’m talking about our souls mission to come to this planet and through all the obstacles we set up for ourselves in our vast history of this planet actually find our soul, our actual truth, through the human box we put ourselves in. this would be called transcending human or Ascension.

The first thing we did before we ever set foot on this planet was devise a strategy on how we were going to experience things like not feeling good enough, unworthiness, feeling vulnerable, powerless, fear, victimhood, oppression, and whatnot. We are here to overcome those things and there is only one way to do it, a way that until now very few have even known about, it is through loving yourself. Yes, that saying you can’t love someone until you love yourself is absolutely true though we didn’t have it quite right either.

How many times have you said “I love you” to someone to turn around and either say or think “damnit I told you to pick up the towel” or put down the seat, wear something sexy, do the dishes, help with the kids, meet my needs, I want you to… Okay, yeah, do we see the conflict here at all? How about this “I love myself but I need to lose 5 lbs.” or get a better job, buy a better house, have more money, get rid of this acne, dye my grey hair, get more muscle, drive a better car and so on and so forth. See it yet? Well if you don’t it is because we condition ourselves not to. In fact these are perfectly sane things to say and work on BECAUSE we love ourselves, right? Well, ummm, NO.

Okay, I totally admit I fall under some of that too though I see it for what it is and am sharing my experience with you so you can see it too. How we think has a ton to do with how we look, what we have, who we are with and so on. Our first steps before getting here is making contracts with other souls that can hopefully help us see through all of this and we have something to offer them in doing the same. In reincarnation after reincarnation we have come to this planet to experience the 3rd dimension which is just a sci-fi way of saying duality. We have actually done it so many times in so many ways that we have completed our mission (Yay!) and now we are trying something new. Ascension.

So Ascension is just a fancy way of moving out of duality and into what our souls already know we are, Love. I capitalized love in that last sentence because there is a huge difference between what we think is love on this planet and what our souls know as Love. It’s a bit like the saying about Eskimos having a bunch of words for snow but why don’t we have a bunch of words for love? Really, it’s not because there are so many types of love, there is only one Love, we have just turned so far away from it we’ve devised imposters. Love for my friend, love for my partner, love for my sister/brother,  love for my parents, love for food, love for my dog and so on and so forth. We try to say these things are all different, are they really or do we just place more conditions on one than the other?

I used to say I love my dog more than my girlfriend because I know my dog won’t leave me unless she dies, my girlfriend can pick up and go whenever she gets ticked at me enough. So I placed conditions on things, my girlfriend has the ability to change her feelings about me because of something I do (or she does), something I say, something I don’t do and so on and so forth. My dog on the other hand loves me no matter what (even when I don’t deserve it). So I know love is conditional. I have conditions for my  mom too, my mother loved me when I did what she wanted me to do so a lot of our interactions as an adult were false, I basically told her (lied) what she wanted to hear so I didn’t have to listen to how disappointed she was. So I met her conditions falsely and consequently blamed her for not loving me for me. We both put stipulations on our love and in the end we couldn’t communicate with one another about anything without it coming down to anger.

So love, or our version is very conditional. This is not the love we are striving for, in fact it’s really not even LOVE. Love on a soul level is unconditional it is a feeling that wraps you up and keeps you warm it doesn’t have a high or a low it just has a feeling of warmth of embracing you from every angle and holding you in such a way that you will know it will never let you down, both literally and figuratively. It is a feeling that cannot be adequately described, it is a feeling that needs to be felt to understand its true impact on you. It is what some refer to as Enlightenment and others the Hand of God. When I say God here I am not refereeing to any particular branch of religion I speaking of the Creator, Grandfather, Source, Goddess and any number of words used to describe the center of the universe or the energy from which we come.  Yes, we are a part of that energy it is us we are it, there is no existence without us or without it, but that is a subject for another time.

Getting back to Love, this is the way in which we whole (heal) ourselves. It is the piece we have been missing and the only way in which we can find true peace in our lives, in our relationships and in our continued existence as a humans. We as souls, collectively, have made the decision to ascend (ascension) in the physical (we used to have to die to do it) in order to catapult ourselves (Human race) to the next phase of our existence (evolution). We have two choices, we can either ride this ride to the end or we can flag down the operator and get off early. Either way we are doing what our soul has decided is best for our own process and path. Some of us are here just to help others out, some of us are here for the entire ride and all of us are here to help show how to get there in our own ways (Wayshowers).

In order to love ourselves we must look at what comes up for us both in and out of relationships (see took a detour but I’m back now). I’m not speaking of partner relationships I’m speaking of ALL relationships. Yep, you even have contracts with that maniac that cut you off on the way to work this morning. The ability to recognize, look at and understand what others bring up for us is how we begin to understand what keeps us “human.” The ability to do the same for anything we bring up in ourselves is the way to bring ourselves back to “Love.” These are our relationships, our mirrors if you will, they reflect what areas we need to look at deep within ourselves. What emotions do they bring up, what stories (memories) do they bring up, how do we change those from whatever they are to “Love.”

Now some people have issues loving some of those memories, I totally understand I have some of those kinds of memories too. We don’t have to love the people, the actions, the happenings or what have you, all we need to do is recognize where we didn’t have “Love.” The easiest way for me to describe how to do this is to look at where you had anything but love. I had situations in my childhood where I felt very vulnerable and unsafe, these feelings are not Love, these are based out of fear. Now as a human we say yeah but so and so was doing blank to me and that is scary. As souls we look at it and say yes, there is that but as my true self, the soul, I never feel anything other than Love and therefor how they were making me feel was a lie. Only the human feels that because the human forgets that it is unconditional, everlasting, ever powerful, Love.

Yeah I know, there are some situations where that is all really hard to apply. Don’t worry about those situations right now, work with the smaller ones. Others we have to devise a whole other strategy for and we will come to that at another time. Until then work from the top of down, start with yourself. What things have you told yourself lately that aren’t Love, why do you think that way, where did it come from and how can you change it.

I think one of the biggest things for people is how they look. What are you telling yourself, do you believe you need to lose more weight, have bigger whatever, have smaller whatever, have better whatever, have fewer whatever, do more of this, do less of that, what are you telling yourself that you can use the word “but” in front of. “I love myself but …” find those words and then figure out why. You know the coolest thing I have learned so far on this ride is that I actually picked this body as an afterthought. My soul doesn’t know a thing about not liking a body because it absolutely loves itself. So it decided what it wanted me to experience fully this time, signed up with a bunch of other souls to offer assistance, devised an entire plan on how to get me from point A to point B and then decided okay so to do all this where is the best place to start out…. Hmmmm, how about over here in the US, this state looks okay and hey that one is about to give birth, let’s see what is going to pop out and yeah, I will just tweak my plan a wee bit to make sure we still get to point B and "Wallla!" a brand new bouncing baby.

Yep, that is essentially what happens. We didn’t get dropped in this body because we did something good/bad. This isn’t a prize/punishment. This isn’t a way to make you feel like crap/awesome for the rest of your life. In fact if you are the ugg side of things when it comes to your body can you even conceive that the person in the whoa body feels the same way you do? No, well of course not its called duality, the thing we got dropped into to experience and then get the heck out of. Duality means there is a yay and a boo, black/white, good/bad, right/wrong and so on.

This is the second most awesome thing I have learned so far, that we all feel the exact same way about things we just feel them to different degrees and we handle them in different ways so it never quite looks the same. It is pretty awesome how all whatever billion of us there are, are feeling the exact same ways, the only people that are truly happy, the kind of happy we can get so jealous over “well of course she’s happy she’s rich” or “with a body like that I’d be happy too” or “how did he get her, man with a hot chick like that I’d be in heaven.” These are all the things that we think will make us happy, what actually makes us happy is learning to LOVE.