REPOSTED FROM THE TRANS-SCEND BLOG 2016
We rarely look at what we are saying to ourselves let alone our partners in terms of energy, body language and intimate connection. We use the words ‘make love’ but how many of us actually do? What are we making, what thoughts and feelings are going into it and what are we looking to get out of it? Have you ever thought about why you are initiating sex? Next time you do, check in with yourself, what are you feeling… do you have ‘needs’, do you want physical release, are you wanting to keep a relationship going? Are you relieving stress, wanting to forget a hard day, looking for a distraction? In what ways are you initiating it and what happens when your advances are accepted or rejected?
Do you know when your heart is open and when it is not? Are you feeding a lack within yourself or do you want to experience something so beautiful that you have no expectations of how it looks or what the outcome should be? Have you ever considered sitting with the other person and just exchanging energy? Would this satisfy you or annoy you, would it enhance the relationship or bring it crumbling to the ground, can you be with your partner in silence and hold space or do you need the physical act?
The answers to these questions can point out where we still hold density, where we are still allowing fear and lack within ourselves to dictate our lives, where we still need to purge the human ideas of life and move forward on our paths to becoming the pure divine beings we were meant to be. Look at it this way if my partner wants sex and I don’t then I’m having sex with them because I believe our relationship might end, or they won’t love me, or I’m not living up to my end of the partnership, or I’m a horrible partner, or or or… I’m in lack, I’m in fear.
If I am extremely turned on and I go to my partner and initiate sex and am turned down what does my human ego tell me? Does it tell me she should give it to me because she’s my partner, because I asked, because that’s what she is supposed to do…? I’m in victim mode, or fear, demanding that she should give me what I deserve. Or am I dejected because she doesn’t love me, isn’t attracted to me or I’m not good enough… fear of being unworthy.
Those are just a few examples of what could come up, the point is what comes up for you? Can you break it down, see what is underneath and let it go. Can you twist the ideas until you no longer believe them, do you know why you shouldn’t believe them? We are all divine beings here to experience being human and to transcend it. Part of transcending human is remembering who we are, we don’t remember it by believe what our human ego tells us, it tells us where we lack. The idea of lacking came from the experiences we wanted to have while feeling as if we were separate from our source, our souls. The energy in which we do things is dictated by how open or closed our hearts are and that is dictated by how much we are letting anything other than unconditional love dictate our actions.
If you practice looking at what comes up for you and letting it go, accepting that it isn’t true and really embracing that you will begin to open your heart more and more. The more your heart is open the more sex becomes sacred and no longer a means to an ends. The more sex becomes sacred the more the energetic exchange becomes one of unconditional love and can be felt by the other partner. It is even possible to energetically bring someone to orgasm, having never actually touched their physical body. This is what we are moving towards, to have the experience be one of unconditional love, peace and bliss for both partners and not something that fills a void you have yet to fill yourself.
So the next time you go to have sex, check in with yourself, your body, your heart. Is the experience showing you where you lack so that you might take the opportunity to explore that, or is your heart so fully expanded that you can feel the tingling sensation and the interconnectedness with your partner. We all want a blissful experience, do not confuse a bodily release with the purity of sacred sex, there is no other experience like it and it is not focused on sexual release, it is focused on your energy coming together and enhancing one another without the need to fill a void. Open your heart, connect in, is the experience you are having for the pure enjoyment of the partnership or only focused on one or the other. Sacred sex is about coming together not to make a whole but to be whole with one another.