REPOSTED FROM THE TRANS-SCEND BLOG 2015
First, what do I mean by story? Stories are our ideas of us as humans. They are our attachments. They are our likes and dislikes, those things that we say after the words “I am …” the things that we use to describe ourselves and how we are as human beings. They are the made up ideas that are passed to us by our parents, siblings, schools, churches, community and so forth. They are the things we are born into and not the thing we were before we were born, if that makes any sense to you. Who you truly are has nothing to do with anything on this planet, who you are is outside of all things human, you are a spark of the divine creator you are not … you just are.
However, as humans, we like to claim what we believe we are so that we can compare and contrast ourselves to other humans. Our stories are our limits, our attachments and our dogma. Even a story as potentially positive as “I am the world’s greatest musician” is limiting. How? Well, first off there is always someone out there that can learn to be as good or better than you are, this is in order to show us that our definitions of ourselves are not true. Even if we can’t find a person like that we will then limit ourselves in other ways, like I’m a musician therefore I need to be careful of my hands (say if you play the piano) so you are limiting your other activities out of fear that you are nothing more than a musician.
Most of our stories though are really about perceiving ourselves as not being good enough. “I am good at speaking in front of people”,” I’m a horrible speller”,” I couldn’t do that even if I tried”, “I’m not very good looking” and so forth. They are the things that play in our heads daily, hourly, sometimes minute by minute that wants to keep us from discovering who we truly are. For those of us who are awakening we begin to understand that these stories are just that, stories, make believe, untruths and under all of it lays a powerful, beautiful and perfect being.
So where do we get our stories from? I believe we incarnate with a plan that says something like “I want to experience more of …” and then we build our lives around those things until we saturate ourselves with the ideas. Let me give you an example, my mother died recently and it has been bringing up all kinds of things for me to look at and let go of. One theme that keeps coming up is the idea that “I’m not good enough”. While having a very in-depth conversation about my mom with her two brothers I realized that my mom always had to be right, in whatever way that manifested.
So I chose to really examine the idea of “not being good enough” and in doing so I chose her to be my mother. Now take a look at what an awesome dance this is. My mother could never be wrong, she would never admit it, she would research anything and her go to human reaction when someone challenged her was anger and (in my case growing up) “that’s just stupid, your wrong.” I on the other hand tried to do everything a normal kid would do and while she played out the “I’m always right, therefore unless you agree with me you are wrong” game whenever I had a thought outside of her belief system I was wrong or “not good enough.”
In this way my story was reinforced so often that if I could not “bully” my idea as the right way with others I would do one of two things, either automatically back down and change my own opinion or beat myself up for… guess what… not knowing enough, not having enough experience, not being this kind of person or that kind of person or just plain… not being good enough. So that story was emphasized over and over in my mind until the time when I just automatically went to that outcome whenever I was scared, intimidated, or whatever variant of fearful you want to call it.
This also manifested significantly in my gender identification. I tried for years to be what I and everyone else said I was “female” even though I knew from age 5 that I wasn’t. I tried to be the perfect partner, lover, employee, student and whatever else popped up. When I wasn’t, or when it was really something I wasn’t meant to do and I walked away I kicked myself forever about it. To this day I still kick myself about never finishing college although I realize it was never really my path and therefore something I preset up to influence my feelings of failure.
So while our stories do come from the world around us, or are at least reinforced by them, I do believe that there is also a component of a designed plan by our souls for the really in depth ones. If you look at all the basic themes or underlying feelings from experiences you will realize we have all experienced the same types of feelings just to varying degrees. Also the way they manifest is different to give an example of let us compare someone who has had their bicycle stolen to someone who has had been held at gun point. Now as humans we will say one is worse than the other but if you really look at it you will see that both are exploring being a victim. There are a whole slew of emotions that going into it depending on the types of people that it happen to but they are both exploring the same theme, just to varying degrees via different experiences.
Now, what we do with our stories is another thing. We are now being challenged to look at our stories and pick them apart. Realize that these stories are not true no matter how intense they are. In my example there is no such thing as being “not good enough” because we are all perfect spiritual beings, there is nothing imperfect about us and therefore we are not lacking in any way. We are not victims to others, no matter how it may seem as humans, everything that happens to us and others was arranged by our souls. Our free will lies in our souls, they sign up for all of this in order to transcend it, to learn that we are not humans suffering from imperfection but perfect loving beings that come here to experience life as a human in order to learn from, overcome and ultimately remember that we are spirit.