REPOSTED FROM THE TRANS-SCEND BLOG 2015 I was talking to my Uncle a few months ago. My mom had just died and we were having a very lengthy discussion about that and my relationship with her and other things and then we started talking about my transition. At some point he said “I would think you would be most upset about missing out on childhood as a boy.” I was a little stunned, not by the statement itself it is very valid but my reaction to it. I wasn’t at all upset about my childhood or at least not parts of it. I’ve heard others stories and understand that for some people childhood is a time they feel that they missed out on but for whatever reason I didn’t and I began to question why.
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REPOSTED FROM THE TRANS-SCEND BLOG 2015 I don't know if this is my official first memory or if it is just so strong and had such an impact on the rest of my life that it was elevated to that status. I remember it like it was yesterday and even still remember the elation of the epiphany, the sadness that overwhelmed me right before it was extremely intense and has carried with me. those feelings that come with the memory are the ones that now I know need to dissolve before I can let go of the effect of this memory because it isn't the memory that moves us from the NOW to the past but being stuck in the emotions of the memory that do so.This is how we know we are no longer in the now, it's when the feelings of the past coming rushing back with the memory. In other words if I can reach a point where I remember this in order to retell it to use it to help others with their journey but the emotions or emotional attachments I have to that memory are no longer there then I am using it NOW. REPOSTED FROM THE TRANS-SCEND BLOG 2015 For me it came the moment I decided to transition. Although there were many times in my life where I remember being right on the brink. It's a lot like trying to stop smoking, you psych yourself up, get really into the idea of quitting, maybe even set a date and make a ritual out of it and do it and then a week or two goes by and you find a cigarette in your hands again. REPOSTED FROM THE TRANS-SCEND BLOG 2014
Aloha! Yesterday was the first time I have ever felt like a whole person, directly after a Lightbody energy session my energy was finally in alignment, balancing out the masculine and feminine energy within myself. My voice actually dropped (much more than after 5 years of testosterone) it was strong, steady, very masculine and very balanced. For a time it actually gave me a bit of a lie detector, where I could use it to hear if what I was saying was what I actually felt inside. Come to find out through speaking with a good friend who had performed the energy work I had not been balanced this entire time. I had not yet accepted myself, either side, and therefore was still teetering between worlds. I still did not love the person I had been nor had a been able to separate out the difference between being born female but always feeling male and the difference between that and my masculine/feminine energy. Not excepting these things was not allowing me to balance, nor fully embrace the masculine energy within. I want to share the journey of how I got to this moment so that others may be helped too. Part of the struggle of getting to this place was forever feeling as if I was shunned by everyone including a god or creator or however one views that which is outside of us. Come to find out along the way that we ALL are this energy inside and we not only accept but we love everyone unconditionally. This is what I wish everyone to hear, not just transgendered peoples but all of us. We are loved unconditionally, why because we are, in our true essence love and that is why I am sharing my story. REPOSTED FROM CRT 2013
It’s fascinating how you set out on one path but your soul has a whole other idea for you. We originally started this blog about a year ago after we left our jobs to move in to watch over a family member. We also had grand and glorious plans of traveling around the US to explore and seek out experiences to expand our ideas of ourselves and the planet we live on, hence part of the name "Road Trip". It turns out that for the exploring part we really didn’t need to go anywhere. |
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